Last night as I was mindlessly scrolling through facebook before falling asleep I saw someone had linked up to a TED talk. I have heard about TED before but didn't really know what it was so I started to watch the video for a few minutes. It was about learning to be vulnerable. I lasted about five minutes before I literally fell asleep with the video playing on my lap. Needless to say, I still don't know what TED is all about and the video was a lot of deep thinking and research. It was semi-interesting, but at 10:30 at night after a full day with the boys I don't think anything could really keep my eye lids open.
This morning I woke up thinking about the video, and what my friend who posted it on Facebook had said about it. She claimed that taking this course on vulnerability had really changed her life and was so meaningful. I never did go back and watch it, but really it got me thinking about how I miss using my brain, if that makes any sense! Day after day with little kids I move from putting out one fire, to cleaning up a mess, to refilling a milk cup, to breaking up a wrestling match over and over again. Never in the day do I feel like I really am using my brain for any sort of deep thinking. What I find even more odd is that I have been home with the boys for a year now and it's taken me this long to realize that, ha! I'm not complaining. I absolutely LOVE being with the boys everyday and wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I do however want to make it a point to think more, read more, do more things for myself. It is pretty easy to get caught up in being "just a Mom" and forget that there is actually more to me. I have heard many people say things to the same effect but it's funny how it can happen so slowly and you don't even realize it.
All this being said, my goal for this year (and really every year) is balance. Finding a way to get time to myself to do things I enjoy while still being with the boys during the day. Andy is awesome and so far I'm off to a great start. I'm already working on reading my second book this year, considering I probably only read a few books last year, this is progress! I take one night a week to myself. Andy holds down the fort and I just get out and do whatever I want. It sounds so simple but without planning it out ahead of time, getting out even one night a week didn't happen that often.
Another aspect of this whole balance thing for me is really being in the moment with the boys each day. Naturally I'm a list person. I have a mental list going of things I need to get done throughout the day to ensure things run as smoothly as possible. The boys thrive on routine so it is pretty easy to get moving with our day and before I know it, we are sitting down for dinner and the day is almost over. I want to do a better job of taking the focus off of my mental to do list and instead sitting and snuggling with them more. If it means that snack isn't on the table and ready for them right when they are used to having it, then that's okay. Well, they may not think so - but no one will starve :) Drake didn't want to take a nap today. Not going to lie, my first reaction to his nap time revolt was "ugh, I just want 2 hours of peace and quiet", but today was not the day for that, so I went up and got him so he wouldn't wake up the other kids. He and I snuggled on the couch for the rest of nap time and watched Barney. It ended up being one of the best parts of my day!
So the purpose of this blog is to be able to look back and remember these days when my babies were little. This rambling post is a part of that story so I wanted to make sure to include it. I know all too soon they will be in high school and be out with their friends more than they are home with me. Then I will probably have all the TED talks downloaded and be deep in thought all the time (kidding). I will still be watching mindless TV but I will have time to read and do crafty things most likely whenever I want. I also know that it is these upcoming years that I will miss them being so little and needing me for everything. Okay, okay, enough of this I'm starting to tear up and I'm at Starbucks -- can't think about that :)
For now, adorable kid pics to round out this post!
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| My big boy! |
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| Drake loves to stack and build right now, and he's pretty good at it! |
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| Every day Daddy comes home from work and the boys run to grab their swords to attack him with as soon as he runs in the door. Wrestling matches always ensue. |
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| Early mornings with Drakey Michael |
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| Obsessed with shoes! |
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| Kel snuggles |
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| Doughnut date |
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| stop growing up so fast little man! |
