Eight months after Drake's dramatic entrance into this world I still frequently find myself thinking back on all that has happened in his short little life. Having had a full term healthy baby first I can't help but think of the every day differences.
Kellan was born full term, and as far as his health was concerned, I didn't have a care in the world. I waited a few weeks before taking him into public, but after that he and I were a team and he was along for the ride wherever I went. I didn't think twice about putting him in the day care at the gym or on Sundays at church. When he got a runny nose I didn't think too much of it.
Fast forward nearly three years and into our lives under the bright lights in an operating room came our sweet baby Drake. He didn't cry. I didn't get to hold him. I didn't get to hear the doctor call out his weight. He was instead rushed away in an isolette to another room where some people I had never met were charged with getting him stable so he would hopefully make it. The doctors were great and had prepared me as best they could for what would happen that day - of course they didn't quite know so they had given me the "best case" scenario. I had thought through it all over and over many times (there isn't much else to do but think when you are on bed rest for days.) Needless to say, I was stressed and scared for the uncertainty that I new waited up ahead. I was no longer naive to all that could go wrong (google helped with that one too) and after our days in the NICU were over, I became very alert to all things Drake. Is his breathing faster than normal (the Dr said that can indicate an illness and we should bring him into the ER). Are his feet and hands turning completely blue (oh, they didn't tell us about this one - but it happened!), Does he have RSV (the doctors have tested him for it three times already because they saw symptoms - so far we are in the clear). The list goes on and on. In all this worry and staying holed up at home during RSV season to keep this baby healthy there ARE many unexpected gifts. Things I didn't get to experience or in some cases notice with Kellan, things that are uniquely Drakes.
In my opinion, the biggest gift you get when you have a preemie is the gift of time. You literally have more time with your baby while they are still in the cuddly infant stage. Time seemed to stand still when Drake was an infant. Months went by and he really didn't do anything new developmentally. For a good 3+ months he stayed the sweet cuddly newborn who could lay on your chest or in your arms and sleep most of the day away. I treasured those moments with Kel and I remember they seemed to go by so fast. Before I knew it he was a squirmy guy who wasn't all that into cuddling up on my lap, there was playing to get down and do :) With Drake, I really enjoyed those extra months of cuddly newborn time. Definitely an unexpected gift.
With Drake we have celebrated every milestone because we really don't know how he will do developmentally. (In case my Mom reads this, no we don't have any concerns right now - don't freak out!) At 8 months he can roll over, sit up pretty well, eat baby food, and is getting his first tooth. I've cried as he has achieved all of these milestones. I was excited when Kellan did all of these things too, don't get me wrong. What was different then, is that I was naive and really expected all of these things to happen at the appropriate time - no reason to think otherwise. With Drake, our pediatrician has told us that between 6-12 months is when you will typically start to see delays with preemies, if they are going to have any. We have no concerns today (again Mom, did you see that, no concerns :)) but this time I am not just blindly expecting him to do all things on time so I am all the more excited to see him growing and developing these new skills each day!
This last gift I think comes to many people when they experience a life changing event. After Drake, I literally view the word and life through a whole different lens - and it is much more "rose colored" so to speak. Things that used to seem like a big deal, can now easily be put in their place of importance. For example, this week at work. Not the greatest by a long shot and actually it was just plain awful one day. Before Drake I would have had a hard time placing this to the side when I got home at night. That's not to say I still didn't get stressed this week, because I did. The difference was, after giving it some thought it was much easier to say that in the grand scheme of things this challenge is not very high up there
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