Unexpected Gifts

Eight months after Drake's dramatic entrance into this world I still frequently find myself thinking back on all that has happened in his short little life.  Having had a full term healthy baby first I can't help but think of the every day differences.

Kellan was born full term, and as far as his health was concerned, I didn't have a care in the world. I waited a few weeks before taking him into public, but after that he and I were a team and he was along for the ride wherever I went. I didn't think twice about putting him in the day care at the gym or on Sundays at church. When he got a runny nose I didn't think too much of it.

Fast forward nearly three years and into our lives under the bright lights in an operating room came our sweet baby Drake. He didn't cry. I didn't get to hold him. I didn't get to hear the doctor call out his weight. He was instead rushed away in an isolette to another room where some people I had never met were charged with getting him stable so he would hopefully make it.  The doctors were great and had prepared me as best they could for what would happen that day - of course they didn't quite know so they had given me the "best case" scenario. I had thought through it all over and over many times (there isn't much else to do but think when you are on bed rest for days.) Needless to say, I was stressed and scared for the uncertainty that I new waited up ahead. I was no longer naive to all that could go wrong (google helped with that one too) and after our days in the NICU were over, I became very alert to all things Drake. Is his breathing faster than normal (the Dr said that can indicate an illness and we should bring him into the ER). Are his feet and hands turning completely blue (oh, they didn't tell us about this one - but it happened!), Does he have RSV (the doctors have tested him for it three times already because they saw symptoms - so far we are in the clear). The list goes on and on. In all this worry and staying holed up at home during RSV season to keep this baby healthy there ARE many unexpected gifts. Things I didn't get to experience or in some cases notice with Kellan, things that are uniquely Drakes.

In my opinion, the biggest gift you get when you have a preemie is the gift of time. You literally have more time with your baby while they are still in the cuddly infant stage. Time seemed to stand still when Drake was an infant. Months went by and he really didn't do anything new developmentally. For a good 3+ months he stayed the sweet cuddly newborn who could lay on your chest or in your arms and sleep most of the day away. I treasured those moments with Kel and I remember they seemed to go by so fast. Before I knew it he was a squirmy guy who wasn't all that into cuddling up on my lap, there was playing to get down and do :) With Drake, I really enjoyed those extra months of cuddly newborn time. Definitely an unexpected gift.

With Drake we have celebrated every milestone because we really don't know how he will do developmentally. (In case my Mom reads this, no we don't have any concerns right now - don't freak out!) At 8 months he can roll over, sit up pretty well, eat baby food, and is getting his first tooth. I've cried as he has achieved all of these milestones. I was excited when Kellan did all of these things too, don't get me wrong. What was different then, is that I was naive and really expected all of these things to happen at the appropriate time - no reason to think otherwise. With Drake, our pediatrician has told us that between 6-12 months is when you will typically start to see delays with preemies, if they are going to have any. We have no concerns today (again Mom, did you see that, no concerns :)) but this time I am not just blindly expecting him to do all things on time so I am all the more excited to see him growing and developing these new skills each day!

This last gift I think comes to many people when they experience a life changing event. After Drake, I literally view the word and life through a whole different lens - and it is much more "rose colored" so to speak. Things that used to seem like a big deal, can now easily be put in their place of importance. For example, this week at work. Not the greatest by a long shot and actually it was just plain awful one day. Before Drake I would have had a hard time placing this to the side when I got home at night. That's not to say I still didn't get stressed this week, because I did. The difference was, after giving it some thought it was much easier to say that in the grand scheme of things this challenge is not very high up there

...and it is true, time flies!

Over the past six months, there have been several time that I've thought I should blog every once and awhile - simply to remember what our days looked like raising two little guys. Time slips by though, and there is always something else to be done; someone wants to eat, Kellan wants to play ANOTHER game of "Pop the Pig" or "Candy Land" and before I know it, it's time to fall into bed before we do it all over again.  As crazy as the days are I have to say that life is good around here!

We have been so blessed. Since coming home Drake has continued to thrive.  Although we have had our fair share of ER (3) and Doctor (too many to count) visits during this time all illnesses ended up being fairly minor and cleared up in a couple weeks time. Keeping Drake healthy is one of our top priorities so we have taken the doctor's advice and kept Drake home as much as possible during cold and flu season. We all are anticipating this spring when we can finally venture out as a family of four!

Drake will be 8 months next week and on track with all of the development milestones for a 6 month old. The doctor's don't cut him any slack in this area though and at each check up he is compared to other children his age and not his adjusted age. Had Drake been full term he and Kellan would have had birthdays only three weeks apart, so it's been nice to be able to go back and compare what Kellan was up to on his fist Christmas compared to Drake. We've determined Drake has a bigger head than Kel did, but other than that they both enjoyed the same activities on their first Christmas :) As of last week Drake tips the scales at 16 lbs 10 oz and is 25" long. He is finally getting a bit longer and not just chubbier! He began eating baby food a few weeks ago and loves it. Some meals it's hard to shovel it in fast enough, and patience when it comes to food is not his thing. I made my own baby food for Kellan and forgot how much I actually enjoyed it! I am looking forward to getting more creative with foods for Drake - hoping that will keep him from being a picky eater later on...maybe??

Kellan has stepped up into his role as big brother and impressed us all. I always knew he would be a great big brother, but wasn't sure how old Drake would have to be before Kellan took interest in him. From the start Kellan has been so sweet and loving to Drake. He loves to hold him and really enjoys making him laugh. Drake thinks Kellan is hilarious and Kel enjoys having a whole new audience to entertain. We do a lot of laughing around this house on a daily basis! If Kellan's budding career as a singer/dancer doesn't pan out, he can always fall back on his comedy skills, he really is a funny guy! A few weeks ago Kellan and I were out running errands so we decided to stop by Panera for dinner. He requested a bagel and I said I wasn't sure if they sold bagels at night for dinner. We walked inside and got in line. Kellan spotted the bagels behind the register and complete with dramatic hand gestures and his loudest voice he shouts: "They sell bagels for dinner?!? You have GOT to be kidding me, get out of town!!" Never a dull moment!

Moving forward I want to me more intentional in writing about our days because they do fly by so quickly and things I think I will always remember I know will be hard to recall even a few months from now. Drake and his dramatic entrance into this world really has changed the way I view many things. I know I sound like a complete sap when I say this but these boy are such a gift (Andy included!) and I want to remember as many of the fun (and not so fun) moments as I can!